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This update goes out to you my dear. Today is thanksgiving, and here I sit at 2:30am worrying about you. I cannot stop my gentle heart's bleeding. My fears and sadness again peak beyond coping. Yet, I am coping. I have all but accepted my future without you.
Perhaps it just was not meant to be. In either case, I have no anger towards you. This is just what came to you naturally. So that's how it shall be. I thought I could endure the emotional distance, the pressure to keep up. But this is too much. You have pushed me away. And perhaps forever. I will not suffer any more for you. My tears have all dried. I just feel, so alone. I guess that's what makes me fear more than anything else, the lonliness. You will never come back, I know it. I can feel it. You are dead to me. Your soul has become faceless, and my face become soulless.
In my own bleeding hearts blood do I drown, alone and willing to face the death of an impermanence that I must now let go. If this be goodbye, I will always miss you. comments
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